Crappy. That about sums up how I've been feeling lately. My sugars have been all over the charts and I've been having bad chest pains lately. I've been to the ER more times than I can count on one hand in the last two weeks. I just can't wait until I start feeling better and more like myself again.

I just got to get through this week. I am on after hours duty, on call 24 hours a day for the next week at work. Oh joy. I just pray that pager doesn't go off. And I've got to lug a laptop and cel phone with me everywhere I go all week. I don't know how Henry does it.

The corn boil was a blast!! I really enjoyed myself, even though I was really drained. I actually got some sleep to. Bonus! It was great to get together like that. That is the most I have ever heard Monica talk...haha! I know at the wedding, everyone was tired out and Monica lost her voice for a while there..or almost..so needless to say she was pretty quiet. But I always get the impression from the blog that she is a talker...hello...she's really MacAulay blood after all...... But every time I've seen her she was so quiet. Well, they haven't been the best of times to talk either. I think the last time I saw her before Henry's wedding was Dad's funeral and that wasn't the time to catch up. Well, long story short, I had fun...lol...and I discovered Monica is after all, a chatty cathy, just like the rest of us.

Daisy had fun to! She slept for days after. All the kids wore her right out. Thanks for letting us bring her. I hope you didn't find any "gifts" left behind after we left. I checked the parimiter before we left and didn't see anything.

I've got Casino night this weekend for work and our friend is having a house party, so I should be busy this weekend. The only question now is will I feel like doing anything at all? I hope so. We'll see.

With today being the anniversary of 911, I have been thinking a lot about life and death lately.

We want to have kids and sometimes I feel like that is never going to happen. I haven't been feeling well lately and it seems to have become worse over the summer so I went to the doctor last week. She has sent me for 3 different sets of blood tests, among other tests, and says she thinks I have a milder version of type II diabetes. She will know more of course when the test results come back ,but she immediately started me on new medicine to help my body use the insulin it creates better.

Since I've started taking it I have actually felt worse. It makes me really thirsty and since I drink so much I am up all night. Plus, today my legs are cramping up on me. I signed up to walk the Terry Fox Run this weekend and now I can barely walk upstairs. I feel like I am 70 years old all of a sudden. I hate to say I can't go after signing up, but at this point there is no way I would be capable of doing it. Just a couple of weeks ago I wanted to get back into running again. Yea right.

I've been reading up on the side effects of the medicine and I think I am just going to stop taking it for a few days and see if I feel any better. Any worse at this point and I wouldn't be able to work. Today was the worse so far. I hate to sound melodramatic, but I am a little scared. I feel really crappy and when you get older it doesn't seem so unlikely that something bad could happen. I'm at the age now where people I know (who are my age) have died, like a girl I used to work with. One day she is fine and having a baby with no clue she is even ill, and a few months later she is gone, her husband left with a newborn to raise. Things can happen so fast.

Maybe it is just a "mid-life crisis". Oh, I don't know. Maybe I've just been thinking about things too much. Maybe I've just been watching too much news. But then again, I've always had really bad luck. If something bad is going to happen, it will happen to me.

Guess I better try to cheer up. On a more positive note, the CCMA's are tonight in Saint John. Maybe if I take a drive to clear my head I will see some stars.

We had a great day yesterday. First we took Daisy to the park with our friends and had fun. Then we all went to the beach. We've only been to this beach once before, so it was a nice change. Daisy played her little heart out.

Then today, an ear infection. Poor girl. I've been online trying to see if there is anything I can do until I can get her to the vet on Tuesday. Most of the websites say I can at least clean it out with a vinegar & water mix. The dogs books I have are no help at all.

Anyone have any suggestions?