Monday, September 11, 2006

With today being the anniversary of 911, I have been thinking a lot about life and death lately.

We want to have kids and sometimes I feel like that is never going to happen. I haven't been feeling well lately and it seems to have become worse over the summer so I went to the doctor last week. She has sent me for 3 different sets of blood tests, among other tests, and says she thinks I have a milder version of type II diabetes. She will know more of course when the test results come back ,but she immediately started me on new medicine to help my body use the insulin it creates better.

Since I've started taking it I have actually felt worse. It makes me really thirsty and since I drink so much I am up all night. Plus, today my legs are cramping up on me. I signed up to walk the Terry Fox Run this weekend and now I can barely walk upstairs. I feel like I am 70 years old all of a sudden. I hate to say I can't go after signing up, but at this point there is no way I would be capable of doing it. Just a couple of weeks ago I wanted to get back into running again. Yea right.

I've been reading up on the side effects of the medicine and I think I am just going to stop taking it for a few days and see if I feel any better. Any worse at this point and I wouldn't be able to work. Today was the worse so far. I hate to sound melodramatic, but I am a little scared. I feel really crappy and when you get older it doesn't seem so unlikely that something bad could happen. I'm at the age now where people I know (who are my age) have died, like a girl I used to work with. One day she is fine and having a baby with no clue she is even ill, and a few months later she is gone, her husband left with a newborn to raise. Things can happen so fast.

Maybe it is just a "mid-life crisis". Oh, I don't know. Maybe I've just been thinking about things too much. Maybe I've just been watching too much news. But then again, I've always had really bad luck. If something bad is going to happen, it will happen to me.

Guess I better try to cheer up. On a more positive note, the CCMA's are tonight in Saint John. Maybe if I take a drive to clear my head I will see some stars.


Anne said...

Too bad that you don't feel so great. I find that I get really down this time of year and I think part of it has to do with dad's death. I spent so much time at the hospital with him and it is getting close to the anniversary of his death. I did go to the gravesite two weekends ago. I go every year. I find that I feel much better once I have been there and cried my eyes out for over an hour. I sit and talk to him and tell him about everything that has happened in the past year and everything else going on and I find it really helps. Maybe I am just weird like that.

Jen said...

Oh,we were there on Sunday and we wondered who brought the pretty flowers. We brought some to, so Dad has lots of flowers there now.

I am really down to, so I know what you mean. Part of it is my life, like Dad being gone, and part is my health right now. I think I was taking a reaction to the new meds so I called the doctor and she told me to stop taking them and come in to see her tomorrow.We'll see.

Any time you are in Saint John and feel like stopping by for supper or just to say Hi, just give us a call. We'd love to see you. we never really got much of a chance to catch up with anyone at Henry's wedding. We got to talk to everyone just a bit, but no one in paticular in depth. So many people to see and so little time.