Saturday, December 10, 2005

Mom called me today to apoligize for upsetting me yesterday when she told me she was going blind. I can't believe her! She is telling me she is sorry for making me cry! How crazy is that? Well I guess she always has been an odd bird. I shouldn't really be surprised. I told her she better not apoligize to me ever again for anything. Ever. It is not her fault and besides, who cares if I get upset? It is Mom who should be upset. And she certainly is, but even though she has a real problem she is still trying to "mother" me and protect me from getting upset. I guess I will understand better once I have children. I guess once a mom, always a mom.

The funny thing is when she said she was sorry for making me cry, I started crying all over again! The whole situation is just sad. Sometimes I can't control myself. Even though we have had our problems over the years, I still love her very much.

Besides, she really can't help the way she is; she has always been that way. There was a time years ago when I kind of resented her a bit for being different from all the other moms. I was selfish and wondered what I did wrong to deserve such an odd life growing up. I just wanted to be a 'normal' kid with a normal family. But as I got older I came to realize that she is my mom, no matter what, and that she can't help the way she is. Then I started feeling sorry for her because it is much harder for her to walk in her own shoes that it is for me to standby. I was raised with morals and values, always had a roof over my head and food on the table. The house was clean (well, sorta) and I knew I was loved. Mom helped me with my homework when I needed it and she always knew where I was at all times and who I was with. I guess I had it pretty darn good after all. Maybe we didn't have the A-typical family life, but what we had was special and unique. I mean, who elses Mom would call them just to say they were sorry for making them cry?

I know now that I am very lucky to have such a good parents. I guess sometimes us 'kids' have to grow up before we can really appreciate what we have.

No comments: